Well, I could say that I am really already a mother... Whenever I have idle time as I watch my baby sleep, I get emotional, I get to think of poems, and letters that my baby would surely be able to read someday. I was teary-eyed, no I wasn't, in fact, I was already crying when I composed this. I was crying because I was so grateful for the gift of life at my sight, for the opportunity to be able to take care of my son 24/7, and for the fear that this little boy I used to cradle at night might soon grow-up and I may not have this same chance to watch him as he sleep, to kiss him goodnight, and hug him so tight...
"It's heartmelting to see you who were once a cell inside my womb grow up right before my eyes. I would not want to wink so I would not miss every single moment of your life. From head control to rolling over to crawling to sitting to standing to walking. From reaching to grasping to mouthing to teething. From smiling to laughing and giggling. From cooing to gurgling to talking. I feel so proud as a mother as I watch you reach each milestone. I'm so glad I was able to witness your first smile, first laugh, first word, first grip, first step, and first fall. Those were the moments that cannot be captured by the lens of the camera.
Time flies so fast, soon you will grow up very very fast, but there's one thing I always pray - that God's protection be with you every minute and every second of the day. Son, no matter how grown man you may be, I will always remember the times when I used to hold you in my arms, when you used to sleep on my chest, when you tightly hug me in the dark, when you smile at me as you wake up from an afternoon nap, when you cry so loud as you see me walk away, and the way you say 'mama' whenever you want me to carry you. I will surely miss those moments, and I thank God I was able to experience those as not every mother was privileged to.
I love you little boy! I will always do! I will take all the stones thrown at you and all the arrows bound to hit you. But I know at times you have to get hurt, you have to feel the pain so you would be strong and wise...so you would know what life is, and you would understand who God is. I just want you to know that mommy will always be here for you, mommy will always love you! I love you so much my sweet little angel! :)"
The Superwoman
After giving birth, a lot of changes happened in my life, I've learned a lot of things especially because I am a full-time mom and didn't hire a nany to look after my baby, simply because I want to enjoy motherhood.
1. Ambidextrous - I am a right-handed person but now I am very good in using both of my hands in doing anything, whether it be eating, texting, picking up something, etc.
2. Multi-tasker - I'm used to multitasking, in school, at work...I was good at it, but after my baby has arrived, I became an expert, yeah!
3. Military person - I need to do things quickly whenever my baby is asleep. I take a bath in just one minute, hahaha! I don't really time it, but I do it in a flash that's why at times I see myself grasping for breath, oh why always in a rush!
4. Runner - In relation to being a military person I suppose. I keep on running around the house, to the kitchen, to the bathroom, to the bedroom, and to my baby especially whenever he cries. Oh yes, forget about the incision.
5. Gymnast - Flexibility comes with motherhood, yes it's true. While carrying my baby, I pick up somehing using my feet, my toes, especially when it's placed too far. Moms, am I right?
6. Alarm Clock - When my baby was a newborn, he should be fed every two hours as per my lactation consultant's advice. And yes, my baby cries exactly every two hours, why, because he's drinking breast milk, and unlike formula milk, breast milk is easily digested inside my baby's tummy.
7. Singer - I don't sing, as in! Well, it's because I know I have nothing to brag about when it comes to singing, but with my baby, I don't care if I sing out of tune but I have to sing to calm him when he cries or to bring him to sleep, and yes, my voice soothes him, lucky me!
1. Ambidextrous - I am a right-handed person but now I am very good in using both of my hands in doing anything, whether it be eating, texting, picking up something, etc.
2. Multi-tasker - I'm used to multitasking, in school, at work...I was good at it, but after my baby has arrived, I became an expert, yeah!
3. Military person - I need to do things quickly whenever my baby is asleep. I take a bath in just one minute, hahaha! I don't really time it, but I do it in a flash that's why at times I see myself grasping for breath, oh why always in a rush!
4. Runner - In relation to being a military person I suppose. I keep on running around the house, to the kitchen, to the bathroom, to the bedroom, and to my baby especially whenever he cries. Oh yes, forget about the incision.
5. Gymnast - Flexibility comes with motherhood, yes it's true. While carrying my baby, I pick up somehing using my feet, my toes, especially when it's placed too far. Moms, am I right?
6. Alarm Clock - When my baby was a newborn, he should be fed every two hours as per my lactation consultant's advice. And yes, my baby cries exactly every two hours, why, because he's drinking breast milk, and unlike formula milk, breast milk is easily digested inside my baby's tummy.
7. Singer - I don't sing, as in! Well, it's because I know I have nothing to brag about when it comes to singing, but with my baby, I don't care if I sing out of tune but I have to sing to calm him when he cries or to bring him to sleep, and yes, my voice soothes him, lucky me!
A love letter from a mother...
Dear son,
Baby, I love you so much! I'm sorry because I can't promise not to spoil you, I can't promise not to freak out when you get hurt, I can't promise not to panic when you're sick, I can't promise not to fight back when you're bullied, and I can't promise not to cry when you cry. I am your mother, I carried you inside my womb, I heard your first coos and witnessed your first giggles and laughs. Now, I can't wait to see you roll-over and crawl. And when you have finally learned how to walk, I promise to walk with you hand in hand till my hair turns gray.
Lots of sacrifices have been done, lots of prayers were uttered, lots of tears were consumed just to have you in my life. I know I can't be the perfect mom but I'll do everything just to be the best for you so when you grow up you'll be proud to shout to the world that I am your mother. I am thankful and blessed to be your mom. I will forever thank God for the wonderful miracle He's bestowed upon us...you! I am indeed very happy that I am your mother! I love you baby boy!
Love,
Mom
(written May 8, 2011 - My Mother's Day sentiment)
Baby, I love you so much! I'm sorry because I can't promise not to spoil you, I can't promise not to freak out when you get hurt, I can't promise not to panic when you're sick, I can't promise not to fight back when you're bullied, and I can't promise not to cry when you cry. I am your mother, I carried you inside my womb, I heard your first coos and witnessed your first giggles and laughs. Now, I can't wait to see you roll-over and crawl. And when you have finally learned how to walk, I promise to walk with you hand in hand till my hair turns gray.
Lots of sacrifices have been done, lots of prayers were uttered, lots of tears were consumed just to have you in my life. I know I can't be the perfect mom but I'll do everything just to be the best for you so when you grow up you'll be proud to shout to the world that I am your mother. I am thankful and blessed to be your mom. I will forever thank God for the wonderful miracle He's bestowed upon us...you! I am indeed very happy that I am your mother! I love you baby boy!
Love,
Mom
(written May 8, 2011 - My Mother's Day sentiment)
I'm back!
It's nice to be back! I missed my blogsite...been almost ten months since I last posted about my childbirth experience. Well, I focused first on taking care of my baby than surfing the net. Being a full-time mom is not easy but is oh so rewarding! I wouldn't want to wink so I could witness my child's development. Time flies so fast, so I wouldn't want to waste a single second...cause I love my son so much!
Bad Service in a Government Hospital
I gave birth in Philippine General Hospital (PGH) last January 8, 2011. I was in the Pay Section. My friends and relatives would ask me why I will give birth in a public/government hospital. Actually, the reason why I chose PGH was because my OB is giving birth in PGH, her clinic is in front of PGH, and she was the one who did the surgery to me three years ago, and she was the one who took care of me so I could have my little angel.
Though PGH is a government hospital, I thought the service for those in pay section would be different from those in ward section…but I was so wrong. I paid Php 80,000++ for giving birth; same as though I gave birth in a nice private hospital isn’t it? But I received a freaking bad service from the staff. Admittedly, the specialists of the hospital are really great, no questions asked, because they’re all graduates of University of the Philippines, and most of them were trained abroad. However, the nurses (not all), nursing aids, and other whoever, should be trained not only for good customer service but for good manners and right conduct. They treat all the patients there as if we were all from ward section/charity. Masusungit as in! As if all the patients don’t have the money to pay them! Duh?!
My husband witnessed a nurse from Nursery ICU pushing a baby’s cart (I don’t know how it’s called) with a baby on it, then there was a monobloc chair at the center of the hallway, guess what this lazy unscrupulous nurse did? Instead of stopping to set aside the chair first so she could pass, she bumped the chair with the baby’s cart even though there’s a baby inside it. The doctors are very strict about the ‘shaken baby syndrome,’ why then can’t they advise their nurses of the right handling of a NEWBORN BABY?!? Grrrr! When my husband saw that, he couldn’t stop worrying about our baby who was sent to the NICU 12 hours after he was roomed-in with me for suspected mild sepsis (blessedly, it was just a suspicion, I have a healthy baby boy!).
My Childbirth Experience
Last Pre-Natal Check-Up
Had my last pre-natal check-up and Biometry/Biophysical ultrasound last January 5, and guess what? My OB advised me for a caesarian section OUTRIGHT! Why? As per the ultrasound result, my baby’s estimated weight is 4113 grams (Warlof) already. I was so shocked. I knew it might not be 100 % accurate but I wouldn’t risk my baby’s life just because I want to give birth via NSD. I followed my doctor’s advice. My husband and I made our decision – I will give birth via caesarian section on January 8, 2011 (Saturday).
Baby’s Arrival
Finally, the long wait is over… my precious baby has arrived at 8:02am on January 8, 2011. When I saw my baby, when I heard him cry, and when I finally held him, I forgot all the pain I have experienced from pregnancy to childbirth; I even forgot that I had an incision. The Feeling? It was overwhelming, I could not contain myself.
The recovery?
Very fast! I underwent surgery three years ago due to endometriosis so I already knew how it feels to undergo the knife, and it took me some time to recover. It took me months for me to be able to walk briskly, bend my knees to pick something up, sleep on my side, carry something, and do the things I normally do as a healthy person. But this time, I was so amazed on how fast I have recovered. Inside the birthing room I was so awake that I kept on talking to the nurses and kept on tilting my head from left to right to observe what’s being done on me. I was not so like this three years ago during my surgery. I gave birth at 8:02am, was sent to recovery room at 9:00am, I was still so awake, as in. At 9:30am, I was already asking the nurse what time is it and what time they will send me back to my room. Every 30 minutes I kept on asking every nurse who passes by near me about the time. Finally, at 11:30am, I was roomed-in. My baby was then roomed-in with me at 12:30nn.
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